Ice Cream Blues

I worked out this morning-hard. An amazing woman at my church leads an intense core conditioning class from her garage on Tuesday and Thursday morning. I'm talking intense. Last week, after going for the first time, I could hardly walk for two days. This morning, it was a bit better, but still very difficult. The lunges up and down the driveway were a high point, if that tells you anything. 

I came home determined to eat healthy, and had some low fat cottage cheese and pineapple.It hit the spot.  Everything was going well until about an hour later when I decided to open up the freezer and have "just a bite or two" of the Hagen Daz mint chip ice cream that I stupidly bought recently, even thought I am trying to lose that baby weight. I can't resist mint chip!

So, a bite turned into three, and after doing that a few times, I did a weight watchers no-no and decided that I had already messed up, so I may as well finish it off. And I did. 

Why do I work so hard, only to spoil the calories I burned by finishing off a pint of the most fattening ice cream around?

If only we could lose weight by desire alone, I'd be set. But, I guess very few things in life are acquired that way. We usually have to work for the things that we really want. 

I think I'll go for a jog later and burn off some of that ice cream...

Splish-Splash

Bath time is one of our favorite times of the day. I play music and sing to Madeline. She smiles and just sits back and enjoys herself.

Check out those rolls! She's a chubby little thing...14 pounds and only 11 weeks old. SO cute!

What did you get into now?

I hadn't seen the dog, Coby, for a few minutes. That's always a bad sign. So, I called him, and he came slowly into the living room a few seconds later, with his head down and his tail between his legs. His face around his mouth was covered with a sticky white substance. As I wondered what he had gotten into now, hoping it wasn't something dangerous like cleaning supplies, I walked around the corner and found a can of infant formula(I'm supplementing) with the lid chewed off, contents spilled onto the floor. I had left it on the kitchen table...MY bad! Forgot to put it up on the shelf where the DOG can't JUMP.

I love this dog, but sometimes, I swear, if he wasn't so darn cute..

.

Reasons he's a pain:

1. He's not potty trained- poops/pees on the floor daily. Our dining room smells like a zoo. 

2. He gets into the trashcan if we leave the bathroom door open. If I get lazy and throw a dirty diaper away in there, I regret it later when it is chewed up and strewn across the bathroom floor. 

3.He barks at loud noises and people, mostly men. Too bad we live in a men's dorm. Lots of both.

4. When gate or front door are open, he takes off, usually chasing after the men mentioned above. 

5.He harrasses our other dog, Sapp, an older black lab. Poor Sapp.

6. He has a problem with chewing on his paws, then keeping us awake at night, hacking on hairballs. 

I could go on, but I will stop there. Moving on to happier times..

Reasons we keep him:

1. I insist..Jon would give him away in a heartbeat.

2. Coby picked me. He escaped from my parents' house twice and came to my back door!

3. He only goes to the bathroom in ONE room in the house. :)

4. He loves Madeline. He guards her cradle, sticks his nose in and checks on her when she's sleeping, and runs to her first when she's crying. 

5. He jumps into my arms when I come home. 

6. No matter what, I love him!!

Any other dog lovers out there who don't think I'm totally crazy?

Already

I am ALREADY dreading going back to work. I took an extra three months off using the Family Leave Act. It gave me 12 weeks of unpaid leave, so I have to go back in the end of November. It's only September, but this week I began to dread it. 

I didn't expect to feel this way. I had no idea how this little person would change my life so much, so quickly. It makes me cry just writing that. I can't believe how much I love her.  

I'm a teacher, and I will need to be there from 9:00 to 3:30. My school is 5 minutes away. I love my school, and I love teaching. I also love the decent amount of money I make, now that it's my 8th year and I have my masters. ( I have my masters, but I don't know if I'm supposed to write it like this:masters, Masters, or Master's. Terrible!) We have it figured out that Jon will work from home in the mornings. He won't go in to the office until one. Then, since we live on campus, we will have a student watch her from 1-4 until I get home. 

I feel guilty just writing that. Guilty and sad. I feel like I am making arrangements for other people to take care of the one thing(person) that God has entrusted to ME, my daughter. I know she's Jon's daughter too, but I'm her mom, and it's different. I know that she will be fine, and she will even be sleeping half the time I'm gone, but that doesn't make me feel much better. 

I don't want to be rushed in the morning when I feed her and give her a bath, which she loves. That's one of the most special times we have together. I don't want someone else making her smile, going to her when she wakes up suddenly from a nap crying, feeding her, and playing with her. I want it to be me. 

So, at this point, most of you are thinking, "Then just don't go back." I really don't feel like I have that option this year. I've already told Jon that I am not doing this again next year, and I've already started looking for some part time options. But this year, right now, we need the money.

  I write that... knowing that many of you have made sacrifices and decisions so that you can stay home with your kids. I really admire that. I feel like it would be impossible right now because we have not planned for it at all, and yet I know some of you are doing it. 

So, we'll see. I still have 2 and 1/2 months to debate inside...or maybe even find something part time. But, most likely, I'll go back in November, feeling guilty and sad. 

And I'm already dreading it.