Fall

We have been pretty busy doing fun, fallish things this month. Most of these pictures are already on facebook, so I'm dong this blog more for memories sake.


We went to Disneyland for their Halloween-Fest. There were so many cute costumes, and Madeline had a great time. I am really happy with the way her costume turned out. I bought the tutu online, and had my mom make the shirt. Madeline did NOT enjoy it when one of the college students was painting her face, so we kept it simple. Overall, I think she makes a cute little clown!







Last week, my sisters and I took Madeline to Disneyland for a few hours. My sisters love Madeline just about as much as I do. It makes me really happy.





We went to the railroad park in Irvine with the MOPS group from my church. This is one of my good friend's daughter, Eden. Madeline loves her so much. She kept giving her hugs, and she didn't want to let go. Madeline loves little girls this age. She likes them to pick her up and play with her. She has a little following at church of elementary age girls. It is really cute!



Another little friend from church, Alli. Madeline and Alli are about a week apart in age.





Another pumpkin patch we went to with my parents...





One more pumpkin patch...


She loves giving kisses...I love the way her eyes are closed.


And, a little update on my dad. He is on his second round of chemo and doing pretty well. He is very low on energy, but not in pain or feeling too sick yet. Thanks for the prayers.

A Time to Fight

You may already know, but it has been a rough few weeks for us. We found out that my dad has cancer. again. It's something we knew could happen. But prayed that it wouldn't. It's something we have thought about, but not talked about. Almost as though we feared that talking about it might somehow cause it to come back.
Three years ago was one of the darkest seasons of my life. Three months after my dad walked me down the aisle and gave me away, he had surgery and began his fight. The fight for his life. And it was not easy. The chemo killed the cancer, but it also killed his strength. It aged him. It caused him extreme pain. So much pain that he couldn't walk. He couldn't eat. He couldn't laugh.
We prayed that God would heal him and restore him. And he did. With lots of medication, he has been able to walk. He has been able to laugh. He has been able to work. (His job has been as a chaplain for hospice care. He has been talking, singing, reading, and praying with people who are nearing the end of this life.) He has been enjoying his first grandchild. (That's an understatement.) He tells me every time he sees her how much joy she brings him and how he loves her. And she loves him too!

So, three weeks ago my mom called from the hospital. My dad had been having some issues with breathing. He had been to the doctor and they put him on antibiotics. The pain went away for a while, but when it came back, he knew there was something wrong. The went to he emergency room to get a cat scan, and that's where they found out that the cancer had come back. After a few days in the hospital and a few more tests, we were told that it's in one lung and on two ribs. Since it has metastasized, or spread, they say they will be able to treat it for now, but it will come back eventually. And he will have to fight it again. and again.

So, he started chemotherapy in the form of a pill on Monday. So far, so good. He hasn't had any of the nasty side effects yet, just some weakness. Most likely, he will start feeling badly when the chemo builds up more in his system.

I don't really know how I'm doing with this. I feel so sad that he has to go through this again. I feel scared, because I don't want him to ever stop fighting, but I know there's a limit to what the human body can withstand. I feel anxious, because his sickness has triggered in me a pretty strong fear of cancer in my own body. I've become pretty paranoid...kind of weird, I know.

At times like this, I rely on my faith in God more than anything else. I believe that He is with us in in this. I believe that He has allowed my dad's cancer to return for a reason. Not caused, but allowed. I believe that He is good, and his mercies are new every morning.

There is a worship song from my sister's church, written by Tommy Walker(my favorite worship song writer) It's called We Will Remember. I have been listening to it over and over again, especially one verse in particular. It reminds me that even in the difficult times, I can remember all that God has done for me, by forgiving me, saving me, blessing me over and over and over again. Answering prayers, extending me grace, loving me unconditionally. He truly is a good and faithful God.

When we walk through,
life's darkest valleys,
We will look back,
on all you have done.
And we will shout,
Our God is good,
And He is the Faithful One!

We will remember,
we will remember,
we will remember,
the works of your hands.
We will stop,
and give you praise,
for great is thy faithfulness.

Things Change

I said I was going to give Madeline only healthy snacks like fruit and cheese and organic yogurt.
But then I made these chocolate chip cookies, and I thought about how much she would like them, and how cute she would look with cookie all over her face. So, I gave her the cookie, and I was right. She did like it. And she did look cute.








that was good.





I said I wouldn't buy her a bikini.
I didn't want her being confused when she gets to be a little older and I will no longer let her wear a bikini. But then I saw this adorable bikini on sale at Gymboree, and I decided that it's ok if she wears a bikini for now. But only for now.








I said I wouldn't let random kids that we just met in Palm Springs hold Madeline. (Well, I guess I hadn't really said that...but I didn't think I would.)
But then we met Kristen and Isabella(three minutes prior to these pictures), and Madeline liked them so much she gave them her "thumbs up." So, I decided it was ok.

My Girl

words



can not



express



the love




I feel



for this girl.

A Beautiful Goodbye

We spent a week in beautiful Colorado with some of our closest friends before they moved to North Carolina. Their grandparents have a ranch in the mountains, and it was even more beautiful than these pictures(Jon took) portray.We hiked, laughed, rode horses, laughed, fished, laughed, had campfires, and yes, laughed some more. It was fantastic.
But, about the goodbye.
I. hate. saying. goodbye.
These friends have become family to us these past three years. They are the ones we can call at the last minute to eat dinner with, go camping with, go jogging on the trail with, talk about everything with(and I do mean everything.) They have been there for us, prayed with us, and laughed with us. They are kind, funny, authentic, gracious, lovely people. They are the people that you look at and think, I want to be friends with them. And we are. And I'm SO thankful.
It was very hard to say goodbye. We all wept. They stood and waved and cried until our car was out of sight on the dirt road. Jon and I went about an hour without saying anything, as tears rolled down our faces. I really hate goodbyes.

And now, we are back home. Since we've gotten back, I've been a little down. I have had that feeling of emptiness that you feel when you have a really wonderful time somewhere and then regular life just doesn't feel as sweet for a while. I miss the country. I miss the beauty of the mountains, rivers, and wildflowers.

But mostly, I miss my friends.

Party Time

Madeline is turning one in two weeks...I really can't believe it! It has been the best year of my life. But. I'll write more about that later.
We are having luau at the same park where we were married. I'm not much of a planner, but I am wanted to do something big and fun for her first birthday, and I'm excited! My mom has a friend from Hawaii who gave her this grass skirt outfit when Madeline was born. I just HAD to use it! So, we did a little photo shoot on the beach for a picture for the invitations. My friend Tara made the invitations, and they turned out so cute. I was going to post a copy, but it has my phone number on it, and I feel weird putting that on the internet. So, here are a few of the pictures. The one we where she is smiling is the one we used. (P.S. We didn't send them to out of town friends, so don't be sad if you are my friend and you didn't get one. :))

The Beginning of the End

This video was taken a few months ago, when Madeline was about 8 months old I think. She is now almost a year old, and weighs almost 27 pounds. She's huge. And we still swaddle her. We have been hesitant to stop, because she is SUCH a good sleeper. She has been sleeping 12 hours a night since she was about 5 months old, and she takes two 2 hour naps a day. And she goes down with no problems. Just swaddle, pacifier, set her in the crib, and walk away. We have been very, very fortunate. A few months ago, when she started getting out of the swaddle, we incorporated a trick that our friend taught us, using two blankets, and that bought us few more months of swaddling.
But recently, Madeline has been getting out of the double-swaddle, and we have found her in some interesting positions in her crib. The other night, I walked in to find her with one arm out of the swaddle, pulling herself up on the crib, the majority of her body still swaddled! We realized that we need to start thinking about bringing the wonderful days of swaddling(and probably 12 hour nights) to an end.
So now, we are in the transition, trying to figure it out. We have tried one arm out, both arms out, and completely unswaddled, and no matter what, she ends up standing up in her crib, crying for us. She just does not understand that she needs to lay down and go to sleep, when for 11 months she was wrapped up tight to go to sleep.
All of this to say, we are very open to suggestions...and miracles. :)
Advice anyone?

What a Week!

We just got home today from a REALLY nice vacation. We went to Palm Springs with my family and stayed at a very nice Marriot timeshare resort. We got a great price on it, so my family was able to get a suite right next to ours. We spent the week swimming, eating, talking, reading, and of course, having a blast playing with Madeline. It is unbelievable how much joy she brings to all of us, and I can't quite remember or imagine what we did before her. Whatever it was, it wasn't nearly as much fun.
We were all so pleased that the weather was gorgeous the entire time...high 80's to low 90' and sunny. It was ununsally cool for Palm Springs in June, which meant it was perfect for us. We went to one of the SEVEN pools and swam every day at least once. Then, when Madeline took her naps, we just took turns sitting on the back porch overlooking the golf course and read. It was SO nice.
Here are some pictures of the week:
(Of course, they are backwards..I always forget that part. :))