Not-So-Sincere Gratitude

Dear Purse Thief,

I would like to thank you for stealing my purse off the back of my chair while I was on vacation this past week in Palm Springs. That was very sweet of you and I truly appreciated it. I don't know if  you realized how much you were helping me by doing this, so I wanted to write you this letter to let you know. 

First of all, I bought that purse and wallet at LEAST two weeks ago, so they were really starting to look worn down anyway. I mean, who wants a two week old purse and wallet that match?! Not me! Thank you for taking care of that for me.

Also, thank you for giving me the opportunity to catch up with SO many people who I have not talked to in SO long. When I called the bank and chatted with Barbara about closing my account, ordering new checks, identity theft, etc, I realized I would never have had that conversation if you had not taken my purse. Then there were my friends at Target, Banana Republic, and Chase credit cards. I hadn't realized that it had been years since I had even spoken with them, but thanks to you, we are all caught up now.

Another thing I want to thank you for is giving me the opportunity to visit some places that I have not been in a while, but have really been wanting to go. First, the DMV. I have had my hands full with a new baby, and have not made the time to go there in quite a while. And, if you hadn't stolen my purse, then I wouldn't need a new license, and who knows when I would have made the time to go down there. I had almost forgotten how much fun waiting in line there can be! So, thank you! Another place I have neglected for quite a while is the social security office. Some people say you should not keep your social security card in your wallet, but I'm so glad I didn't listen to them. Thanks to you, I get a new social security card, and I might even get a new number! How exciting! I don't think I had been to the social security office since Jon and I got married and I changed my name..I guess I've just allowed myself to get so busy. Thank you for leading me back...

I can't forget to thank you for remaining anonymous. Life is so boring when you know everything that's going on, like who has your drivers license and keys. I much prefer this mystery. Every day is a surprise, not knowing if someone is applying for a credit card in my name at that very moment...wondering if my car will still be there when I go outside...it's like a fun game that I'm playing with an invisible person. You know who I am, yet I have no idea who you are. You have all of my information, yet I have none of yours. It's so fun and exciting. Thanks for keeping me on my toes!

As you can see, you stealing my purse meant more to me than you could have possibly known. You may have thought it was just a small thing and I didn't even notice, but know that it wasn't small, and I did notice.  Though I don't know who you are, I will never forget you.

Thanks again,

Stephanie